it's law and dining etiquette people!

peace be upon u and hi peeps (^_~)

p/s: i took 30 minutes to chew the grill sirloin and i ended up throw it away. But still, it was a great night with Chief Judge of Malaya, Tan Sri Dato' Seri Zulkefli bin Ahmad Makinudin :)

couldn't care more..ooppss i CARE

peace be upon u and hi peeps (^_~)

May today is full of blessing and guidance from Him..

"happy 2oth birthday couzy!!"
"thanks babe.. btw.. got hot story to tell u"
"what is it..?"
"remember that person that i told u before..? the one i asked u to look up on fb..?"
"oohh yeaahh..i don't really remember his face.. whatsup?"
"he and his family came to my house last monday.. a day after your birthday.."
"OOOOhhh mmyy Goodd..!! like seriously??? he came to balik pulau?" *screaming
"a'ah.. he was here..jalan-jalan dengan family.. and then he called me.. i talked to his mama.. she asked whether they can come or not..?"
"then..?" *asking impatiently
"i was afraid umi marah if they come..but then.. to cut it short i say datang laa.."
"makndak dengan pakndak ada tak kat rumah..?"
"ada jer.."
"dan..?"
"they brought along sebakul buah yang dah gubah cantik tu.. they came to risik me.."
"oohhh mmyyy God..!! it was a great birthday present ever..!! i'm happy for u but i cannot hold myself from being jealoussss... pakndak dengan makndak cakap apa..?
"they said nothing..just smile.. i don't know.. didn't ask more"
"oooohh couzyy.. find me a man..!! nak kena dirisik jugak..!!"
we were both laughing..

it's not yet confirm but i pray for their happiness.. this is a true gentleman.. go see her parents when he intends to kawan with her.. but still, the limits need to be observed..

i believe Allah will show me the right and righteous man when i'm ready to love and bear the responsibility.. and may be this ain't the right time.. got society to run.. tests to be done.. final exam to be kicked  perfectly answered..

this is a random thought.. i find that voice soooooooo sweet.. what..? who owns the voice..?? ada laa.. :D

take care of your health, iman dan mulut.. it's better to stay silent than saying something that will hurt others.. and don't forget to pray for Gaza.. May Allah assist our brothers and sisters there.. ameen..

pandang

in the name of Allah, the Most Gracious the Most Merciful
peace be upon u and hi peeps (^_~)

i pray to Allah for us to be showered by His blessing and love.. How are you peeps? doing good..? me..? Alhamdulillah.. Allah still have mercy on me.. He keeps me alive and gives me oxygen to continue breathing in this fana' world..

The world's medias are busy with the issue of Gaza.. How cruel, evil, inhumane, unmerciful -so forth- Israel is towards Palestinians.. When the world is starting to view this issue as an issue of ummah, ME, people in Malaysia are happily blinded with other worldly issue.. I feel so frustrated with myself when i find myself shutting my eyes up when i see news in newspaper or facebook or other readable item regarding this.. I know and fully realize this issue is not a mere issue.. it concerns the ummah.. our brothers and sisters who are suffering in the other part of the world..  but yet..me is just sitting back.. pretending not knowing what is happening there.. SCREW me..!

Let's not be a mere lay person who are ignorant about this.. How busy we are.. How tired we feel.. How high we think of ourselves.. How fragile we become.. we should not let our guard down nor our mind out of this.. People there are not complaining on how hard they survive to live.. they are not making fuss when they have no food to eat.. they are full of passion to free their Motherland.. the Holyland.. they are willing to syahid.. Allahuakbar!!

so Nani.. open your eyes and your heart.. WAKE UP..! I pray to Allah to not let us be swayed away by the world.. aameen..

peace be upon u and hi peeps (^_~)

i am supposed to be on track and jogging right now but the sky does not let me do so.. that's why i'm writing in this early morning instead of jogging or SLEEPING..lalalala.. Allah knows BeST.. kalau tak gerimis kat luar tu, entah bila aku nak update blog ni.. :D

what am i going to write this time..? actually, i don't have any specific thing that i wanna share.. so, i'll just write what comes in my mind right away.
first, i just ended a very busy-hectic week which was last week.. i had three events straight in one week, starting with book fair, jamuan hari raya and lex familia (family day for law school). Those events were organized by my dear law society where i am one of the committees. I was handed with a task to be under biro logistik for book fair and jamuan hari raya dan biro keselamatan for lex familia..basically logistic deals with tables, chairs, tents, PA system, and stuffs.. it was not hard since i've been doing it for ages *ok, itu propa 

For jamuan raya, the theme was classic and traditional, so i chose to wear dark brown kebaya labuh which is not ikut-bentuk-badan-sangat.. because it was the first time i wore kebaya in public.. i mean in law faculty *i actually wore it once last sem* people were like... "Nani nampak lain laa" "Kat mana beli..?""kebaya ni nampak just nice, tak ikut body pon" well, thanks to makcik Ani, our official tailor kat kampung who made me this awesome kebaya although the sleeves are not long enough to cover my wrist..
on that night itself, whilst i was flipping through a magazine which i forgot the name, i stopped at this one particular page which have a bunch of people with dyed hair. One of my colleague *not yet colleague, but a friend of mine* said this,
"teringin la nak dye rambut.." 
and i gave her a quick reply
"eh, mana boleh.. Allah tak kasi"
then, another friend of mine who was also with me at that time added
"ala boleh jer, pakai yang syurah, yang tu halal"
and i was like "yang tu pon tak boleh"
of course my friend was not satisfied with my answer..
"dalam Islam, hanya inai dengan katam jer yang boleh pakai"
and our conversation stopped there when we saw some of the VIPs were arriving..

I came to realize that people not doing something halal or in other words, do what they think is right is because they are ignorant of the rules or hukum.. they don't know whether it is allowed or forbidden by Islam.. that is the reason i see people with dyed hair performing prayer.. They don't know the act of dyeing the hair is haram because it changes the nature of hair that Allah had created.. hhmmmmm... THEY DON't KNOW

For lex familia, i became a paramedic who carried ice and and bandage every time the sports began.. it was fun though.. learning new things like how to handle a person who sprained or strained their legs was a new experience to me.. ooh yeaahh.. i cured lots of people that day.. hahahaha..

there's no second point as i'm about to end this post.. lol~
the busy week has ended and a new busy+busy+busy week is approaching.. Abah called and he was worried as he thought i would neglect my study which is my first priority.. but i won't do that.. i have to get a good pointer this time round to secure my place for LLB.. I hope Allah assists me and never let me be swayed by all these clinging stuffs..

p/s: i'm about to move out from makngah's house..

didik hati

in the name of Allah the Most Gracious the Most Merciful
peace be upon u and hi peeps (^_~)

new semester has just begun.. here comes the battle again..
i find this semester will be quite challenging as i have to raise up my CGPA which is not as easy as taking off a smelly shirt from my body.. i have to do better this semester.. better in organizing time, relationship with Al-Khaliq, relationship with people and better in giving tarbiyah to myself.. i don't want to be left out again in knowing what is happening to Muslims in the whole world.. i don't want to be ignorant just like before.. i want to be a better me..

it will not be an easy step but i would like to dare myself.. if i do not make any move now, i 'm afraid this kind of opportunity will not come and seek me again.

Yesterday, i had a meeting with my society. It was like a post-mortem for the previous semester.. as i had mentioned before, i was a program director (PD) for an event which was Program "Solat Hajat dan Bacaan Yassin". i gave an order (i prefer this word rather than ASK) to the whole committees to cover their aurats. For guys they had to wear baju melayu and for girls they had to wear baju kurung or jubah.. It's because there are some of them who do not cover their aurats like not wearing hijab or in other word SEXY. i was hoping that that program will be a good start for them to cover their aurats as what has been written in Al-Quran.

I was quite surprised when Endy (High committee) told me that there were people among the committees who thought that me giving them instruction to cover their prohibited parts from ajnabi as HARSH because they said stuff relating to religion is a sensitive thing.

the words that were uttered by me so spontaneously was "it is such a bad excuse.. bad excuse ever.. takkan ada masalah kalau diorang praktikkan (tutup aurat) sendiri"

hhmmm.. now i realized why am i stranded here.. Allah wants me to amend  this situation.. Allah wants me to assist them from straying away from HIM.. This ain't a small thing peeps.. some of them are used to cium-pipi-kiri-kanan when they meet regardless of their sex and hugging is like a norm here..

my contract with this society will end this semester.. i hope i can bring some changes or at least A change in this society.. i pray to Allah to not let me go away from His side and assist me during my hard time..

"RABBI YASSIR WA LA TUA'SSIR"

YOU GET WHAT YOU GIVE

in the name of Allah, the Most Gracious the Most Merciful
peace be upon u and hi peeps (^_~)

i read this on facebook.. i found it interesting and i would like to share it here.. happy reading :)

This is a true story about a man named Rashed. He tells his story as follows…

I was not more than thirty years old when my wife gave birth to my first child. I still remember that night.

I had stayed out all night long with my friends, as was my habit. It was a night filled with useless talk, and worse, with backbiting, gossiping, and making fun of people. I was mostly the one who made people laugh; I would mock others and my friends would laugh and laugh. I remember on that night that I’d made them laugh a lot. I had an amazing ability to imitate others – I could change the sound of my voice until I sounded exactly like the person I was mocking. No one was safe from my biting mockery, even my friends; some people started avoiding me just to be safe from my tongue. I remember on that night, I had made fun of a blind man who I’d seen begging in the market. What was worse, I had put my foot out in front him – he tripped and fell, and started turning his head around, not knowing what to say.

I went back to my house, late as usual, and I found my wife waiting for me. She was in a terrible state, and said in a quivering voice, “Rashed… where were you?”

“Where would I be, on Mars?” I said sarcastically, “With my friends of course.”

She was visibly exhausted, and holding back tears, she said, “Rashed, I’m so tired. It seems the baby is going to come soon.” A silent tear fell on her cheek.

I felt that I had neglected my wife. I should have taken care of her and not stayed out so much all those nights… especially since she was in her ninth month. I quickly took her to the hospital; she went into the delivery room, and suffered through long hours of pain.

I waited patiently for her to give birth… but her delivery was difficult, and I waited a long time until I got tired. So I went home and left my phone number with the hospital so they could call with the good news. An hour later, they called me to congratulate me on the birth of Salem. I went to the hospital immediately. As soon as they saw me, they asked me to go see the doctor who had overlooked my wife’s delivery.

“What doctor?” I cried out, “I just want to see my son Salem!”

“First go see the doctor,” they said.

I went to the doctor, and she started talking to me about trials, and about being satisfied with Allah’s decree. Then she said, “Your son has a serious deformity in his eyes, and it seems that he has no vision.” I lowered my head while I fought back tears… I remembered that blind man begging in the market who I’d tripped and made others laugh at.

Subhan Allah, you get what you give! I stayed brooding quietly for a while… I didn’t know what to say. Then I remembered by wife and son. I thanked the doctor for her kindness, and went to go see my wife. My wife wasn’t sad. She believed in the decree of Allah… she was content… How often had she advised me to stop mocking people! “Don’t backbite people,” she always used to repeat… We left the hospital, and Salem came with us.

In reality, I didn’t pay much attention to him. I pretended that he wasn’t in the house with us. When he started crying loudly, I’d escape to the living room to sleep there. My wife took good care of him, and loved him a lot. As for myself, I didn’t hate him, but I couldn’t love him either.

Salem grew. He started to crawl, and had a strange way of crawling. When he was almost one year old, he started trying to walk, and we discovered that he was crippled. I felt like he was an even greater burden on me. After him, my wife gave birth to Umar and Khaled. The years passed, and Salem grew, and his brothers grew. I never liked to sit at home, I was always out with my friends… in reality, I was like a plaything at their disposal [entertaining them whenever they wanted].

My wife never gave up on my reform. She always made du’aa for my guidance. She never got angry with my reckless behavior, but she would get really sad if she saw me neglecting Salem and paying attention to the rest of his brothers. Salem grew, and my worries grew with him. I didn’t mind when my wife asked to enroll him in a special school for the handicapped.

I didn’t really feel the passing of the years. My days were all the same. Work and sleep and food and staying out with friends. One Friday, I woke up at 11 am. This was early for me. I was invited to a gathering, so I got dressed and perfumed, and was about to go out. I passed by our living room, and was startled by the sight of Salem – he was sobbing! This was the first time I had noticed Salem crying since he was a baby. Ten years had passed, and I hadn’t paid attention to him. I tried to ignore him now, but I couldn’t take it… I heard him calling out to his mother while I was in the room. I turned towards him, and went closer. “Salem! Why are you crying?” I asked.

When he heard my voice, he stopped crying. Then when he realized how close I was, he started feeling around him with his small hands. What was wrong with him? I discovered that he was trying to move away from me! It was as if he was saying, “Now, you’ve decided to notice me? Where have you been for the last ten years?” I followed him… he had gone into his room. At first, he refused to tell me why he’d been crying. I tried to be gentle with him… Salem started to tell me why he’d been crying, while I listened and trembled.

Do you know what the reason was?! His brother Umar, the one who used to take him to the masjid, was late. And because it was Jumu’ah prayer, Salem was afraid he wouldn’t find a place in the first row. He called out to Umar… and he called out to his mother… but nobody answered, so he cried. I sat there looking at the tears flowing from his blind eyes. I couldn’t bear the rest of his words. I put my hand over his mouth and said, “Is this why you were crying, Salem!”

“Yes,” he said.

I forgot about my friends, I forgot about the gathering, and I said, “Don’t be sad, Salem. Do you know who’s going to take you to the masjid today?”

“Umar, of course,” he said, “… but he’s always late.”

“No,” I said, “I’m going to take you.”

Salem was shocked… he couldn’t believe it. He thought I was mocking him. His tears came and he started crying. I wiped his tears with my hand and then took hold of his hand. I wanted to take him to the masjid by car. He refused and said, “The masjid is near… I want to walk there.” Yes, by Allah, he said this to me.

I couldn’t remember when the last time I had entered the masjid was, but it was the first time I felt fear and regret for what I’d neglected in the long years that had passed. The masjid was filled with worshippers, but I still found a place for Salem in the first row. We listened to the Jumu’ah khutbah together, and he prayed next to me. But really, I was the one praying next to him.

After the prayer, Salem asked me for a musHaf. I was surprised! How was he going to read when he was blind? I almost ignored his request, but I decided to humor him out of fear of hurting his feelings. I passed him a musHaf. He asked me to open the musHaf to Surat al-Kahf. I started flipping through the pages and looking through the index until I found it. He took the musHaf from me, put it in front of him, and started reading the Surah… with his eyes closed… ya Allah! He had the whole Surah memorized.

I was ashamed of myself. I picked up a musHaf… I felt my limbs tremble… I read and I read. I asked Allah to forgive me and to guide me. I couldn’t take it… I started crying like a child. There were still some people in the masjid praying sunnah… I was embarrassed by their presence, so I tried to hold my tears. My crying turned into whimpering and long, sobbing breaths. The only thing I felt was a small hand reaching out to my face, and then wiping the tears away. It was Salem! I pulled him to my chest… I looked at him. I said to myself… you’re not the blind one, but I am, for having drifted after immoral people who were pulling me to hellfire. We went back home. My wife was extremely worried about Salem, but her worry turned into tears [of joy] when she found out I had prayed Jumu’ah with Salem.

From that day on, I never missed the congregational prayer in the masjid. I left my bad friends… and I made righteous friends among people I met at the masjid. I tasted the sweetness of iman with them. I learned things from them that distracted me from this world. I never missed out on gatherings of remembrance [halaqas], or on the witr prayer. I recited the entire Qur’an, several times, in one month. I moistened my tongue with the remembrance of Allah, that He might forgive my backbiting and mocking of the people. I felt closer to my family. The looks of fear and pity that had occupied my wife’s eyes disappeared. A smile now never parted from the face of my son Salem. Anyone who saw him would have felt that he owned the world and everything in it. I praised and thanked Allah a lot for His blessings.

One day, my righteous friends decided to go to a far away location for da’wah. I hesitated about going. I prayed istikharah, and consulted with my wife. I thought she would refuse… but the opposite happened! She was extremely happy, and even encouraged me… because in the past, she had seen me traveling without consulting her, for the purpose of sin and evil. I went to Salem, and told him I would be traveling. With tears, he wrapped me up in his small arms…

I was away from home for three and a half months. In that period, whenever I got a chance, I called my wife and talked to my children. I missed them so much… and oh, how I missed Salem! I wanted to hear his voice… he was the only one who hadn’t talked to me since I’d traveled. He was either at school or at the masjid whenever I called them.

Whenever I would tell my wife how much I missed him, she would laugh happily, joyfully, except for the last time I called her. I didn’t hear her expected laugh. Her voice changed. I said to her, “Give my salam to Salem,” and she said, “Insha’Allah,” and was quiet.

At last, I went back home. I knocked on the door. I hoped that it was Salem who would open up for me, but was surprised to find my son Khaled, who was not more than four years old. I picked him up in my arms while he squealed, “Baba! Baba!” I don’t know why my heart tensed when I entered the house.

I sought refuge in Allah from the accursed shaytan… I approached my wife… her face was different. As if she was pretending to be happy. I inspected her closely then said, “What’s wrong with you?” “Nothing,” she said. Suddenly, I remembered Salem. “Where’s Salem?” I asked. She lowered her head. She didn’t answer. Hot tears fell on her cheeks. “Salem! Where’s Salem?” I cried out.

At that moment, I only heard the sound of my son Khaled talking in his own way, saying, “Baba… Thalem went to pawadise… with Allah…”

My wife couldn’t take it. She broke down crying. She almost fell to the floor, and left the room. Later, I found out that Salem had contracted a fever two weeks before I’d returned, so my wife took him to the hospital… the fever got more and more severe, and didn’t leave him… until his soul left his body…

And if this earth closes in on you in spite of its vastness, and your soul closes is on you because of what it’s carrying… call out, “Oh Allah!” If solutions run out, and paths are constricted, and ropes are cut off, and your hopes are no more… call out, “Oh Allah.” Allah wished to guide Salem’s father on the hands of Salem, before Salem’s death. How merciful is Allah!

raya oh raya #2

in the name of Allah, the Most Gracious the Most Merciful
peace be upon u and hi peeps (^_~)

still in raya mode? happy raya then.. we have one month to celebrate hari raya, so don't be too greedy to visit all the houses in just one day. I swear u might die from exhaustiveness..! chill and cool down peeps..!

i too celebrate raya for the whole one month..! therefore, based on that ground, i decided to follow my ex-schoolmates to go beraya and visit my seniors and also my long-no-meet friends.. i was the driver and i brought along my sister as she said she was bored to faint to stay at home.. i picked up wan, nana and ika before we went to mimi's house.

we had our breakfast there. actually i didn't plan to go to nabilah's (nab) house in Seberang Perai.. but i decided to follow them as we have not seen each other for quite a while. Mak gave 'green light' and i grinned. Next stop was my senior's house, Kak Asbah. Had koew teow goreng and laksa there. We also met p-nut, shett and wani. It was like a small reunion and we laughed hard,, bila dah berjumpa balik ni, semua kenangan masa sekolah ingat semula.. sumpah wei, we laughed like crazy people..

with three cars we convoyed to nab's house. This was when a tragedy happened to me.. oohh mmmyyyy CAMRY..! i HENTAM belakang CA MRY wei..! i was lucky because i didn't CIUM mercedes sebelah kiri.. kalau tidak, lagi rabak duit...! this why mak always say "jangan dok seronok sangat, satgi menangis plak.." i didn't cry but my pocket cried.. lesap habis duit nak pergi Cameron..

it was my fault, because i was in a wrong lane. Fortunately, that guy didn't get mad at me.. i had a short conversation with him-->

me : teruk ke encik? (while looking at the spot i hit)
en N : eem.. calar ni.. (sambil belek tempat tu)
me : macam mana ni encik?
en N  : awak bagi saya no awak, nanti lepas check saya bagitahu
me : ok encik
en N  : awak student lagi ke?
me : a'ah, UiTM Shah Alam
en N  : awak nak kemana ni? saya rasa saya dah kedepan tapi tiba-tiba rasa macam org langgar
me : saya nak ke Seberang ni.. saya sepatutnya ambil line kanan tapi tak boleh masuk sebab kereta lain tak bagi ruang.. tp memang salah saya pon kereta encik jadi macam ni.. kereta baru ke encik?
en N  : baru siap.. sebelum ni pon kena hentam jugak dekat belakang
me : (i didn't know what reaction i should give)
en N  : takpe la, nanti apa-apa saya sms awak
me : ok encik, mintak maaf sekali lagi, selamat hari raya, maaf zahir batin

then, he text me.. we just settled the problem through sms.. btw.. he is still young with a good look but he is married with a child (i just assume that as i saw a lady at the front sit and a little boy) my friends dah melalut buat novel untuk i.. hahahaha... sabar jer laa.. but this man, he's weird.. the way he text me macam pelik.. seram wei.. it's not that he threaten me.. tp macam  ulat bulu dapat daun.. that's what i thought la kan..

there's another long story with this man whom i know is 35 years old.. but i decided not to jot down here.. kalau tak, lagi bunyi macam novel wei.. then we continued our journey to nab's house and met some other friends.

and peeps, here's some tips if u meet an accident

-call or bring along someone with u so that u won't be cheated
-try to negotiate with the other party to settle the problem without police intervention
-take his/her phone no and also the plate no
-go with him/her to the workshop so u know how bad the damage is and how much it will cost u
-don't simply agree with the sum he/she suggested
-do all the things above with manner

PLEASE DRIVE CAREFULLY..! and happy driving..!

raya #1

in the name of Allah, the most gracious the most merciful
peace be upon u peeps (^_~)

aku ke?

in the name of Allah, the Most Gracious the Most Merciful
peace be upon u and hi peeps (^_~)

today is the 21st day of Ramadhan.. the last 10 days of Ramadhan where Allah promises to forbid us from entering the hell fire for those who ask from Him.. let's not be just a passer by and neglect these 10 awesome days.. maybe this is the last Ramadhan that we can cherish..

done with the introduction, now let's get to the main point.. AKU KE? err.. don't misunderstand peeps.. i don't have split personality.. i just change my personality according to the situation.. =)

i always have this confusion when it comes to my name.. not that i have ten or eleven names but it's just sometimes i don't even recognize that that is actually my name.. a name given by my mak.. do not frown yet.. i tak habis explain pon lagi.. :) sebab i always say my name is Nani whenever people ask for my name, they might (or always) assume my real name is rosNANI, AMAni, ROHani dan nama yg sewaktu dengannya.. but those aren't my name.. i won't reveal my name kat sini but i can say that i have nurul in my name.. and my concern is that, i don't prefer people calling me nurul.. because i think that name is too sopan and lemah lembut for someone like me.. hahaha.. that's why i don't turn back when someone is calling me with that name..

there was a scene in my lecture class that i could not forget.. it was a day of my presentation.. in every presentation, after the last person bids her/his final words, the lecturer will come out with a few questions to the presenters.. as i was the leader, my lecturer asked me first.. but guess what.. i just stood still, smiling and didn't respond to her question sampai my groupmate siku i and say that question was for me to answer.. it was just because the lecturer said "ok, kamu NURUL apa pendapat kamu..." padahal dalam my group i'm the only person yang ada nama nurul.. adoiilaa..
i was puzzled for awhile.. "aku ke..? bukan aku nani ke..?" see.. i can't even have my mind straight.. i guess i have to make people call me nurul more often so that i won't forget that nurul is part of my name..lol~

done ranting.. time to get some sleep.. happy QIAM peeps :)

ramadhan

in the name of Allah, The Most Gracious The Most Merciful
peace be upon u and hi peeps (^_~)

it's kinda late to wish u guys Ramadhan Mubarak rite..? but 'kinda late' is way much better than not saying or praying it at all.. so SELAMAT  MENGIMARAHKAN RAMADHAN  peeps!! Ramadhan only comes a month in a year.. don't miss it because we don't know whether we are able to celebrate this month of barakah next year.. treat this month as a turning point for us to become a better muslim :D Next year is not a sure thing.. so let's make the terawih the best and the bestest terawih that we ever perform.. stand tall, bow long and prostrate devoutly..!

today marks the 11th day of Ramadhan.. Time flew by and the clock ticked fast.. now is the second phase of Ramadhan where Allah promised  forgiveness to those who humbly seek for it.. let's not turn this precious moment as a hopeless dust which brings nothing in our life.. ALLAHUAKBAR..!

and also i have a program with my juniors in my ex-secondary school this weekend.. we, the SUPER SENIORS secara julung-julung kalinya will make our first appearance in the school for a two-day program.. i pray to Allah that everything will go just fine and ends successfully.. ameen..

i'm currently searching for the better ME.. me, as i far as i know, i speak loud, i laugh hard, i talk a lot, i listen less, i keep my ego high, i cry too little, i'm too selamba-aci-redah, i act harsh and the list of my not-s0-good-attitude goes on.. For the better ME, i pray to Allah to open my heart as wide and broad as the sea so that i'll be able to make changes in life.. though it may not be a lot, but still, i hope there will be a better ME soon.. ameen :)

*i don't change personality.. i'm just improving my attitude :)

abang

peace be upon u and hi peeps (^_~)

i had a date with abang today.. it was wonderful because i didn't spend any penny of mine.. abang had kindly pay for everything today.. i just landed on penang yesterday's evening and last night i asked abang.. "belanja kakak tengok wayang" and he nodded.. i was like "terbaik la bang..!" because usually i'll be the one bearing all the cost when we went lepaking.. but today he was being extremely sweet as he just got money transferred into his account last two days (^_^)

we went to watch The Amazing Spiderman.. i got rm4 discount after i showed the receptionist/cashier my student card.. but abang didn't get any less.. poor abang..but it's ok..he got money.. ooh yeeaahh... 

i sat beside him in the cinema.. the sit next to me was still empty although the movie was about to start.. abang then whispered to me "kalau takdak orang, duduk kerusi sebelah tu.." i said "asal plak?" he innocently replied "rimas laa.." and i was like... that's so SWEEETTT of u abang.. haaiisshh..

                                 ............................................

i'm close with my big bro.. i feel secure whenever i'm with him.. i can feel his brotherly love towards us (his adik2) although he seldom express it.. i can talk and share with him anything daripada cerita kereta, motor, sports, problems, love, berat badan, rambut, baju, kasut and etc.. he's a good listener and a good adviser too walaupun selalunya aku yang jadi tukang nasihat.. we are close and in fact with other siblings pon we are close.. i feel sorry for those who are the only child and those who never have heart towards their siblings.. it's a waste though.. sayang selagi boleh sayang.. sebab sayang tu yang akan cool you down whenever you have a fight with your siblings.. 

*motif post adalah utk mengespreskan sayang aku kepada abang dan adik2 aku.. :)

ameen

peace be upon u and hi peeps (^_~)

this is just a random post :)
baru lepas tengok gambar kahwin IRMA HASMIE dan suaminya REDZHA SHAH di ohbulan..

i pray to Allah so that i'll be a better muslim and be consistent with it..

i pray to Allah to grant me lelaki yg beriman, sedap mata memandang, baik keturunannya, educated and stabil kedudukan kewangannya :) i know it is hard to get such a dream guy but i can't lose hope.. we can ask anything from HIM.. no limit.. and that's why doa is senjata orang mukmin :) 

*got 3 papers left 

risau

peace be upon u and hi peeps (^_~)

i  got a shocking news this afternoon. Like seriously.. it freaked me out for about 3 hours.. my mak had to undergo a surgery because there were two anak batu in her hempedu.. ya Allah, it was just yesterday when we had a conversation on how to make murtabak maggie and today, not even in 24 hours mak was admitted to Pantai Hospital.

i charged my hp downstairs and left it there while i was in my room.. i didn't realized any new message coming in until at 12.48pm which was after i finished my lunch. I got a miscall from mak and a message too which was sent at 10.46am. i was so shocked that i was actually trembling.. i went upstairs, changed my cloth and when to PETRONAS to top-up.. i called mak, no answer.. i called again, still no answer.. then i dialed abah's no.. and thank Allah, he answered my call.. i asked him what happened.. he told me the story behind mak's surgery. He said not to worry because it was just a minor surgery.. but HOW CAN I NOT WORRY..? 

i was waiting for abah's message and at 3.05pm i received a message from him :

"mak dah selamat operate, dah ada di wad, hari isnin boleh balik"

and felt so relieved.. Alhamdulillah.. that was the time i totally realized how precious mak is to me.. and to US.. so peeps, don't be shy to express your love towards your parents.. it's meaningless once they are no longer in front of your eyes..

p/s : peluk cium mak dan abah besar-besar

final

peace be upon u and hi peeps (^_~)

it's final yoo..!

let's do the best peeps..!

penat

peace be upon u and hi peeps (^_~)

today was the last lecture for torts II.. the lecture ended early and madam started to discuss on how to answer questions in the final exam.. while madam was giving out tips for the sake of final exam, me and nadia was busy chatting at the back.. ooppss.. the seat was not at the back as the last row, actually we were sitting at the third row from the whiteboard.. i noticed the way madam looked at us but yeah...she was in a good mood, so we didn't get scolded.. *that is so kepoh.. 

throughout the conversation, nadia once said this "bercinta tu penat dow" and i was like "yeaaahh..i can see that.."

then, i came to think.. "mak dengan abah penat ke bercinta..? aku tengok chill jer.." i don't think married couple will think that loving their spouses as tiring.. bercinta before legally married may be tiring because you cannot 24 hour sit together and discuss any matter that arise.. unmarried couple do have obstacles in terms of time and distant.. once a problem arises, it will become bigger and bigger if it cannot be settled within a short time.. 

however, i strongly believe that if you are meant to be with that particular person, comes hell or high water, you guys will not be apart.. i'm actually worried when seeing those illegal couple who do "unauthorized" things when it comes to pujuk-memujuk session.. holding hands, hugging and kissing have been a norm in this society who majority are muslims..  i pray to Allah to keep us under His guidance and protection so that we do not involve in any forbidden act.. ameen :)

awkward

peace be upon u and hi peeps (^_~)

ia adalah awkward bila you have to face a situation where... *sigh

bayang-bayang -2

peace be upon u and hi peeps (^_~)

       Emy dan Isya keluar dari bilik pengetua diikuti oleh Cikgu Anam . Apabila berada agak jauh dari bilik pengetua , Cikgu Anam menarik tangan Emy sambil merenung tajam wajahnya .

       “ Dah puas hati kau ? Kau ingat kau bagus sangat ke ? Kau ingat dengan air mata kau tu , aku akan lepaskan kau ? Kau dah buat silap besar bila kau malukan aku di depan si Salina dan Basri tadi !” bentak Cikgu Anam sambil mencekak kolar baju Emy .

       “ Cikgu….!! Apa yang cikgu buat ni ? Lepaskan Emy cikgu !” jerit Isya sambil berusaha melepaskan pegangan Cikgu Anam .

       “ Kamu senyap Hisyam ! Kamu pun sama saja dengan si sotong ni ! Meluat aku..!!! Kau orang ni memang tak sedar diri..!! ” Cikgu Anam membentak keras namun tangannya masih mencengkam kemas kolar baju Emy . Muka Emy berubah pucat kerana sukar bernafas .

       “ Cikgu nak bunuh Emy ke ? ” tahap kesabaran Isya sudah tinggal senipis kulit bawang . Melihatkan wajah Emy yang sudah berubah kebiruan , Cikgu Anam akhirnya melepaskan cengkamannya pada baju Emy . Emy terbatuk sambil cuba mengawal pernafasannya .

       “ Cikgu tak patut buat begini . Cikgu ingat dengan buat begini pada kami , cikgu dapat buang segala sejarah silam cikgu ?” kata Isya sambil menahan amarahnya yang semakin menggila pada CIkgu Anam .

       “ Apa yang kau tahu pasal hidup aku ?” balas Cikgu Anam , masih ber- ‘aku’ ‘kau’ .

       “ Cikgu ingat saya tak tahu ? Cikgu pun sama macam kami dulu . Lembut , pondan , sotong macam kami juga . Nama cikgu Ana kan ? Cikgu , jangan kerana nak lupakan masa silam cikgu tu , cikgu sanggup buat kami macam ni . Kami tak pernah buat salah pada cikgu . Siapa cikgu dulu , tak ada kena mengena dengan kami . Untuk pengetahuan cikgu , Emy jadi begini kerana lelaki macam cikgu ! Ayahnya  yang pemarah dan kaki pukul selalu menjadikan Emy sebagai mangsa . Emy jadi benci pada kaum sejenisnya walaupun dia sedar , dia juga lelaki .” Isya terdiam selepas menghamburkan segala yang terbuku dihatinya . Dia kemudiannya berjalan ke arah Emy yang sedang menundukkan wajahnya .

Cikgu Anam terdiam . Lidahnya kelu . Dia tak menyangka bahawa ada yang mengetahui kisah silamnya . Kisah yang begitu ingin dia lupakan . Ya , dia juga begitu dahulu . Kebenciannya pada ayah tirinya membuatkan dia benci pada dirinya sendiri tapi segalanya berubah apabila dia berjumpa dengan Salsabila , tunangnya . Mulai saat itu , dia berubah dan berusaha membuang jauh kisah hidupnya sebagai ‘Ana’ . Dia jadi benci apabila berjumpa dengan lelaki lembut kerana ia pasti mengingatkan siapa dirinya yang dahulu . ‘Anam’ yang menjadi ‘Ana’ .

       Isya memapah Emy yang masih dalam keadaan lemah . Sewaktu melewati Cikgu Anam , Emy berhenti .

       “ Cikgu , saya minta maaf kerana saya penyebab cikgu megigingati kisah silam cikgu . Bukan niat saya mahu menyusahkan cikgu , tapi saya sendiri khilaf tentang siapa diri saya yang sebenarnya . Saya adalah lelaki dan walau sehebat mana sekalipun usaha saya untuk megubah realiti ini , saya tetap tak dapat mengubahnya . Terima kasih cikgu kerana telah menyedarkan saya tentang hakikat kejadian saya sebagai lelaki ,” kata Emy sebelum berlalu meninggalkan Cikgu Anam .

      “ Emy..” panggil Cikgu Anam . Emy menoleh ke belakang , dan memberhentikan langkah kakinya .

      “ Saya minta maaf . Saya tak sepatutnya menjadikan awak sebagai tampat untuk meluahkan segala kebencian saya...pada diri saya sendiri ,” Cikgu Anam menghampiri Emy dan Isya yang masih tekun mendengar bait katanya .

      “ Tiada apa yang perlu saya maafkan cikgu , malah saya yang harus berterima kasih kepada cikgu kerana telah berjaya membuka mata saya tentang hakikat kejadian saya sebagai lelaki . Saya akan berubah cikgu . Saya tak mahu hidup dalam keadaan hipokrit lagi cikgu . Saya mahu menjadi Afif Elmy semula bukan lagi Emy ,” balas Emy seraya tersenyum .

       “ Saya juga cikgu . Saya dah jemu dipanggil Isya . Saya mahu jadi diri saya yang dulu . ‘Hisyam’ lebih sedap daripada ‘Isya’ . Cikgu , maafkan saya kerana bersikap kurang ajar dengan cikgu tadi dan terima kasih kerana cikgu dah sedarkan saya tentang siapa saya sebenarnya walaupun caranya kurang sesuai ,” tambah Isya .

       “ Saya maafkan kamu ,” kata Cikgu Anam  . Mereka bersalaman sebelum mengatur langkah ke kelas 4 Suria .

       Guru merupakan pendidik yang juga contoh kepada para pelajarnya . Tiada siapa yang boleh menidakkan kenyataan ini . Pelajar dan guru saling memerlukan dalam usaha untuk membentuk masyarakat yang cemerlang , gemilang dan terbilang .

       Kejadian kita sebagai manusia adalah sebaik – baik kejadian . Kita tidak boleh menidakkan fitrah kejadian kita walau sehebat mana usaha kita . Hiduplah dalam realiti dan jangan terpedaya dengan bayang – bayang kita sendiri .

- i wrote this short story when i was in form 4.. it was written for pertandingan menulis cerpen :) and i won the first prize.. but, i didn't send this one.. there's another cerpen that i wrote.. :D

bayang-bayang

peace be upon u and hi peeps (^_~)

was organizing folders in may lappy, and then i came across a folder named "aku tulis" i clicked the folder and i realized that i had written two short stories.. and i would like to share it here.. hehehe.. :)

tajuk : BAYANG-BAYANG

‘Meluatnya aku tengok budak lembut tu,’ desis hati Cikgu Anam sebaik saja dia terlihat kelibat Emy . Dia mempercepatkan langkahnya ke kelas 4 Suria , kelas yang terkenal dengan muridnya yang pintar dan nakal . Sebaik saja kakinya melangkah masuk ke kelas itu , serta merta Haikal , selaku ketua tingkatan , memberi ucapan hormat diikuti pelajar yang lain . Cikgu Anam sempat membuang pandang ke arah Emy & Isya yang duduk di bahagian belakang kelas . Hatinya mula sebal . Hilang ‘mood’ nya untuk mengajar .

          Kelas 4 Suria mulai bingit dengan suara pelajar – pelajarnya . Cikgu Anam membuka buku rancangan mengajarnya dan mula mengarahkan pelajarnya membuka buku teks komsas ‘Anak Laut’ . Di bahagian belakang kelas , kelihatan Emy mula menggelabah apabila buku yang dicarinya tidak dijumpai .

          “ Isya , awak ada nampak buku saya tak?” tanya Emy sambil menyelongkar semua barang yang ada di dalam beg sekolahnya .

           “ Tak perasan pulak saya , awak tak bawa ke.?” balas Isya sambil membantu Emy mencari buku tersebut di dalam laci mejanya .

            Perbualan mereka didengari  Hadi , si internet bergerak . Hadi yang memang terkenal dengan sikapnya yang suka menyakat dan menjaga tepi kain orang , mula menjalankan tugasnya .

            “Cikgu , ada sorang heroin celup kelas kita tak bawak buku ,” satu kelas bingit dengan hilai tawa pelajar kelas 4 Suria . Muka Emy mula berubah mendung .

             ‘ Mesti aku kena basuh dengan Cikgu Anam lagi ,’ desis hatinya .

             “ Siapa yang tak bawa buku , sila berdiri ,” Cikgu Anam memberi arahan . Emy mengambil sikap berdiam diri apabila dia mendapati hanya dia seorang yang tidak membawa buku .

             “ Woi , lembut ! Bangunlah ! Kau sorang saja yang tak bawa buku ,” suara Hadi memecahkan suasana yang senyap sunyi itu .

              Menyedari dirinya direnung tajam oleh guru Bahasa Malaysia itu , Emy lantas berdiri . Mata Cikgu Anam yang tajam merenungnya memang berjaya melemahkan kakinya .

             “ Kenapa tak mengaku ? Kamu pekak ke masa saya tanya soalan tadi ?” soal Cikgu Anam dengan muka yang bengis . Emy hanya membatukan dirinya . Dia benci melihat muka Cikgu Anam yang suka mencari kesalahan dan memperlekehkannya .

Cikgu Anam mula ‘panas’ apabila melihat reaksi Emy yang bersahaja . Dengan muka yang merah menahan marah ditambah dengan perasaan meluat yang mula mencengkam hati , Cikgu Anam menampar pipi Emy . ‘Puas’ , itulah perasaannya sejurus menghadiahkan tapak tangan kanannya kepada Emy . Terbang rasa marah dan meluatnya pada si lembut itu .

               “ Aduh ,” Emy mula mengalirkan air mata .Tidak semena – mena ingatan terhadap peristiwa lampau menguasai fikirannya . Isya cuba mententeramkan sahabatnya itu . Seisi kelas menjadi sunyi . Semua seakan tidak percaya saat  melihat Cikgu Anam menampar Emy . Cikgu Anam terus keluar meninggalkan kelas sejurus selepas menyedari keterlanjurannya . Namun , perasaan bersalah tidak langsung terlintas di benaknya . Yang tinggal hanyalah perasaan puas dan bangga dengan tindakan yang dilakukannya tadi .

         “ Awak ‘ok’ ke ?” soal Isya dengan suara yang sebak .

         “ Ini semua salah awak Hadi . Kalau ya pun awak tak suka orang macam kami , janganlah susahkan hidup kami . Kami tak pernah kacau hidup awak pun ,” kata Isya sambil mengalihkan pandangannya ke arah Hadi .

         Emy masih menangis . Kesan lima jari milik Cikgu Anam tampak jelas di pipinya . Seisi kelas menjadi senyap seolah – seolah baru dilanggar sang garuda .

Sementara itu , bilik guru mulai kecoh memperkatakan kejadian yang berlaku di kelas 4 Suria itu tadi .

          “ Kenapa dengan Cikgu baru tu ? Si budak Emy tu ada buat salah ke dengan dia ?” soal Cikgu Zubaidah atau lebih dikenali sebagai Cikgu Bedah .

          “ Entahlah Bedah , saya pun tak tahu , yang saya dengar dari murid kelas 4 Permata , si Emy tu tak bawa buku teks komsasnya . Sebab tu lah , Cikgu Anam tu tampar dia ,” balas Cikgu Diana .

          “ Tapi , tindakan cikgu baru tu dah keterlaluan , paling tidak pun dia boleh denda si Emy tu berdiri di belakang kelas , tak patut betul ,” Cikgu Lili pula menambah .

          “ Asyik borak sampai lupa yang kita ada kelas . Apapun , kita tunggu jawapan pengetua ,” kata Cikgu Diana menamatkan perbincangan sidang meja bulat mereka .

          Cikgu Anam terdengar perbincangan rakan sekerjanya itu . Mukanya memerah menahan geram dan malu . ‘ Siap kau lembut ! Sebab kau aku jadi bahan umpatan guru – guru ‘ desis hati kecilnya .

+ ‘ Yang kau marah sangat dengan budak Emy tu , kenapa ? bukannya dia ludah muka kau pun , dia cuma tak bawa buku teks saja’

- ‘ Mula – mula tak bawa buku , lepas tu mula la pijak kepala kita , benda macam ni tak boleh dibiarkan , nanti melarat’

+ ‘ Ya ke ? atau kau takut tengok perwatakan si Emy tu? Bukankah dia macam bayang – bayang kau sendiri’

- ‘ Mana ada ! Aku bukan macam dia ! Aku lelaki sejati , bukan separuh – separuh macam dia’

+ ‘ Itu sekarang , bukan dulu . Cuba kau ingat  siapa diri kau sebelum ni’

- ‘ tak….!!! Aku sekarang dengan aku yang dulu sama saja’

+ ‘ Ikut suka hati kau lah Anam , walau macam mana pun kau menidakkan siapa kau yang dulu , kau tetap tak boleh hilangkan bayangan tu dari hidup kau’

          Dia bermonolog sendirian . Sedang asyik mengelamun , tiba – tiba namanya dipanggil oleh Cikgu Basri , guru disiplin di sekolah itu .

         “ Cikgu Anam , saya diarahkan pengetua untuk membawa  cikgu ke ruangannya ,”

         “ Boleh saya tahu sebabnya ?” balas Cikgu Anam walaupun dia jelas tentangnya .

         “ Saya yakin cikgu tahu sebabnya . Saya cuma nak ingatkan , apapun alasan atau sebab yang cikgu berikan , sila bercakap dengan nada yang bersesuaian dan berfikirlah sebelum mengeluarkan sebarang kata ,” kata Cikgu Basri sambil terus menghayun langkah ke bilik pengetua .

         Cikgu Anam hanya membisu . Walaupun dia tiada alasan yang kukuh tentang tindakan yang dilakukannya itu tadi , namun dia pasti dia dapat meyakinkan pengetua tentang tindakan spontannya menampar muridnya itu .

         ‘ Apa yang kau nak risaukan , pengetua tu kan perempuan . Perempuan ni lembut , macam kerak nasi . Kau pasti boleh yakinkan dia’ . Dia bermonolog seketika seraya menguntumkan senyuman .

         Setibanya di bilik pengetua , Cikgu Basri mengetuk pintu diikuti dengan ucapan salam . Raut wajah pengetua SMK Jalan Indah kelihatan begitu tegas sehingga menggoyahkan keyakinan Cikgu Anam . Kelihatan juga Emy yang masih merah matanya ditemani Isya , rakan karibnya .

        “ Silakan duduk cikgu ,” pelawa Puan Salina tanpa secalit senyuman di bibirnya .

        Cikgu Anam dan Cikgu Basri mengambil tempat masing – masing . Cikgu Anam sempat menjeling ke arah Emy dan Isya . Panas sungguh hatinya melihat gelagat mereka . ‘ Dasar lelaki tak sedar diri ’ gerutu hatinya .

        “ Saya yakin cikgu – cikgu dan murid – murid sekalian jelas tentang sebab kalian dipanggil kemari ,” Puan Salina memulakan bicara sambil merenung setiap insan yang berada di hadapannya .

        “ Saya mendapat laporan bahawa Cikgu Anam telah menampar Afif Elmy di dalam kelas 4 Suria kira- kira pukul 11.30 pagi iaitu semasa proses PMP berlangsung .” Puan Salina berhenti seketika sambil menghela nafas kemudian beliau menyambung .

        “ Saya tak tahu sebab sebenar kenapa perkara begini boleh berlaku , tapi perkara ini  adalah salah dan tak sepatutnya berlaku . Betul tak cikgu ?” tanya Puan Salina sambil memandang Cikgu Anam .

       “ Saya tam….”                                                                                  

       “ Saya tak minta penjelasan cikgu , saya hanya mahukan jawapan ya atau tidak ,” Puan Salina menyambung kata sebelum sempat Cikgu Anam menghabiskan kata .

       “ Ya , cikgu,”

       Puan Salina hanya menggeleng kepalanya , begitu juga Cikgu Basri . Emy dan Isya hanya membatukan diri masing – masing .

       “ Saya dah dengar penjelasan daripada Afif dan walau apapun alasan awak , Cikgu Anam Iraqi , saya tak nak perkara sebegini berulang lagi . Faham ? ” Puan Salina berkata tegas .

       “ Kamu Afif , lain kali jangan lupa bawa buku teks . Kumu sepatutnya lebih bersedia dan berdisiplin . Kalau tak ada apa – apa lagi , kamu semua boleh bersurai . Cikgu Basri , sila tuggu sebentar , saya ada perkara yang nak dibincangkan ,”

                                                                          to be continued..........

lain

peace be upon u and hi peeps (^_~)

 

situation : was cleaning make up (i pakai eye liner jer)

mira    : "lainnya bila ko buka spec, kalau masuk kelas tengok ko macam ni memang tak cam..seram laa.."

aku      : *senyum

mira     : "cuba ko tengok wun.."

wun      : "bulatnye mata nani"

aku       : *senyum lagi

mira     : "ko nampak macam nak MATI bila tak pakai spec.. ko pakai jer laa.. tak payah buang.."

aku       : "adeh..boleh pulak macam tu.." =_='

p/s :tak kira la muka macam mana pon.. MATI ITU PASTI

tahi cicak

peace be upon u and hi peeps (^_~)

i just love wearing full suit of black and white =D

young

peace be upon u and hi peeps (^_~)

i miss blogging so much.. i've been so busy lately but at this moment i feel like writing something on this blog.. happy reading :)

my sister, known as kakchik was selected as one of penuntut di KMPP and we (all my siblings, mak and tok) sent her there this morning.. after a hectic and a long traffic jam, we managed to get there.. after registering and doing all the necessary stuffs, we went to kakchik's room.. there are 4 persons per room. After sometimes, came kakchik new roommate, i don't know her name, but she is from Kelantan.. 

me, kakchik,kakyang and awa went to salam with that makcik (roommate's mom) then she (the makcik) asked, "ni siapa?" and then mak and tok started explaining which one is kakak, which one is second and so forth.. after quite sometime chitchatting with that makcik, she asked again "mana satu kakak?" 

and i was like "err.." raising up my hand and grinning

"saya"

"oh, makcik ingat yang tu kakak.." (while pointing at kakchik and kakyang)

"saya la makcik..saya dah 20 tahun.. oh..mudanya saya" (sambil senyum kambing)

the next unforgettable scene was when we (me,kakchik,kakyang,awa and mak) sat side by side, when that makcik said this:

"sama ja semua.. mak tu tak nampak macam mak pon.. nampak macam kakak dengan adik-adik ja"

and mak was so happy with that statement.. she laugh sambil muka macam-nak-blushing

but poor abang, he doesn't look like he's 21.. in fact people who don't know him might say that he is married with 2 kids.. oohhhh.. 

done with the introduction.. now to the gist.. :)

being young is one of the most wanted thing among people.. why..? because life becomes harder as the time passes by.. and problems become inevitable..

being young means less stress, less problems, less spending cost and such.. but for me.. i like the most when my birthday say hello to me as it marks the changes in my life.. not just my age beranak another number, my emotion, my way of life, my way of speaking, thinking,dressing and etc also change..

me too love to look young but gaining another number to my age does not scare me.. it is a sign of maturity.. it is a symbol of how i had lived my life.. 

so peeps, don't get scared when u see wrinkles on your face.. because it actually illustrates how brave you are in leading this complicated life.. and also..those are the warning signs from Allah that you can be called back to HIM anytime, anywhere.. so be PREPARED! :)

till my next post, have a bless and blast day :D

besar

peace be upon u and hi peeps (^_~)

still remember these kids..? yeaahh.. anak kembar maksu aku.. dah besar kan..? :D

perlu cari masa untuk jumpa diorang nanti.. 

:D